- “How could he/she treat me that way?”
- “How could I do that to myself?”
- “Why did the Creator/the universe let this happen to me?”
- “I haven’t been the same since.”
But, holding onto debilitating and hindering feelings such as regret, guilt, shame, and resentment are toxic to our growth, evolution, and especially our health. When consumed by such negative feelings, one has not learned the lesson from an adverse experience. These adverse experiences can be compared to bricks — with each experience not gleaned from, they stack atop one another to the point a wall is built. These walls impede our “view” (physical, mental, and spiritual) of life unfolding and being in the present moment as we are stuck in a thought. Being stuck ‘there’, does not allow one to be ‘here’.
But, these self-imposed blinders can also be dismantled brick by brick.
One must realize each experience is meant to be learned from; that each person or occurrence is meant to teach us a lesson to add to our knowledge base. Until the lesson is adopted into our psyche, we are bound to repeat the troublesome experience again, or react to similar instances in the same debilitating way. Thus, resentment of those who wronged us, feeling regret for our own actions, or questioning the Creator or the universe only represses true living and growth.
Ultimately, the negativity of the experience must be transformed to positivity (do not confuse this with denying or repressing the negativity). The catalysts for this reaction are: forgiveness, acceptance, understanding, and love. This metamorphosis allows one to proceed forth, apply the knowledge to similar future events, and to evolve and heal. This is what is referred to as wisdom.
More importantly, our evolution and subsequent actions are contagious to those we interact with and provide guidance and teaching. Hence, not only are you dismantling your brick wall, you are helping others to take their own down as well.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Thank you! You don’t know what I’ve been going through these past two years. But reading this post changed my life these past 3 weeks and everything is different today! I actually printed it out and keep it in my purse for times when I’m feeling hurt or overwhelmed. That single piece of paper is worth more than all the money I’ve spent on books and therapists over a lifetime.
I can’t thank you enough! You are an angel!
God bless,
Jen (from Cincinnati)